Surrender What You Can't Control: The Faith Practice That Relieves Anxiety and Stress

In this episode, you'll discover what happens when you stop trying to change them and start surrendering to God what only He can change. Using the Old Testament story of Daniel — a man who faced circumstances entirely outside his control — we look at what anchoring to God in the middle of an impossible situation actually looks like.

Surrender isn't giving up. It's a shift from tension and resistance to rest. It's entering into a powerful partnership with God that increases your endurance, protects your peace, and helps you see past what you don't like to what you do.

You can't change them. But God can change you — and that changes everything.

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Transcript

Know someone long enough and you may watch their personality transform, and sometimes this new version may be worse than the former. This new version may cause you stress and anxiety. 

Is it possible to surrender a person or situation in your life to God-along with the anxiety and stress they causes you? 

 This episode is for you if you can relate to this conversation I heard a few months ago.

“He’s not the person I knew fifteen years ago. Negativity, judgment, and anger have replaced his fun, comfortable, and sincere qualities. I want to avoid conversations because they turn into mudslinging. I keep hoping for, looking for any remnants of his former self to surface, but I’m about to give up.”

Frustration, hurt, rejection, or longing for a former version of their personality are reasons why we attempt to shepherd, coral, badger, or bully someone to make changes. A change in their attitude, word choices, and emotions would reduce your apprehension and uneasiness. 

Another reason you attempt to change someone is because what’s molded them is scaring you, affecting you, and changing you. Certainly sarcasm, cynicism, defensive or I don’t care attitudes take their toll on you. As does anger, the derogatory language, or their focus on the what’s wrong with everyone and everything else.

This version of themselves wears away at your patience, kindness, forgiveness, and self-control.  

Here’s a rule of thumb: You can change you, God can change you, and you can pray for God to change another human or your situation. Any effort you give to someone else to change won’t work until that individual chooses to be different. 

Maybe you’ve heard yourself ask God questions like: 

• What happened to them? 
• Why can’t they see what they do and hear what they say? 
• Why don’t they want to change? 
• God, do you see and hear how they make me feel? 

You’re asking the wrong question.

Sometimes we want our circumstances to change. You’re disgruntled or burned out in a job, relationship, or choice you’ve made. You try to fast track your escape using impatience, manipulation, and control that’s likely to cause poor decision.

Questions we might pose to God include: 

• Why is this happening to me? 
• Why am I stuck in this situation? 
• Why can’t things return to normal?

You’re asking the wrong question. The question isn’t why won’t they change or why won’t my situation change. 

There’s only one question to ask: how do I surrender to you, God, what I cannot change.

In Daniel Webster’s book, The Discipline of Surrender, he writes, The discipline of surrender runs against our natural inclination toward self-preservation and self-achievement….The issue is whether we can wait upon God and trust him.  (Page 51)

Daniel’s story from the Old Testament provides some perspective.

Daniel won King Nebuchadnezzar’s favor and governed many high officials in the provinces. Daniel excelled in the role and the King planned to put Daniel over the entire empire. 

This didn’t sit well with the other high officials. Being in that role, having that power stripped or modified transformed their attitude and mindset.

It’s not hard to imagine the sarcasm and cynical attitude the officials had toward Daniel. 

God Geek

Suck up

Daniel’s a threat to our existence.

The more they thought it, said it, pride and hate increased. 

These conniving officials tricked the King to sign a law prohibiting prayer to anyone or anything except the King. These officials knew Daniel's conviction to pray to God (a core belief), caught him praying and brought him to the King. 

A law is a law and the punishment for praying was the lion’s den. 

Receiving the news, Daniel should have been anxious and fearful. Favored by the King one day and put on death row the next. Daniel anchored himself to God, sticking to his core beliefs in the face of the officials' pride and hate. A pride and hate that sculpted their minds and hearts. 

Neither the King nor Daniel could persuade or bully these deceiving officials into changing their attitude or mind. Death for Daniel.

Having no power over their minds or his circumstances, Daniel surrendered to God what he could not change.

Is there a person or situation in your life you need to surrender to God along with the anxiety and stress it causes you? 

 Daniel crucified, surrendered what he could not control in exchange for what God desired of him as a follower and believer. Daniel trusted his God to bring good from what others meant for harm.

I can’t help wonder if you are reacting to the idea of surrender the way I did. 

 “Great, just great. You want me to surrender when they, that person, whose attitude and words create anxiety for me gets to stay the same?”

 Or maybe you’re like, “Why do I have to change or accept them as they are?” I want God to do something in them, not me.

 I understand and so does Jesus. Jesus is the master of anchoring to God. In Jesus’s own words he reveals how to anchor yourself to Him as he anchored himself to God. For Jesus to carry out his mission, salvation, he had to empty himself taking the form of a servant. Jesus had to humble himself becoming obedient to the point of death. 

He kept the focus on surrendering to God.

Surrender is moving from a state of tension and resistance to a state of rest. It’s a whole body experience.

Surrender invites peace.

Surrender is entering into a powerful partnership with God. God’s working power in you increases your endurance, perseverance, and patience as you interact with anxiety-inducing personalities.

Surrender helps you see past what you don’t like in them to what you do like. 

You and God have the power to change yourself because it starts from within. Conviction and commitment to your core beliefs act like a security system guarding your thoughts, actions, attitudes, and words. 

Relieve your anxiety and frustration by surrendering to God what you cannot control.

Thank you for listening. Hey I’d love to hear from you. Tell me what you need, what you want to learn, and how I can help you get Anchored Not Anxious. Go to anchorednotanxious.com, click on the Contact Page so we can connect. And sign up for the twice a month CareLetter.

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Until next time.