Self-Reliance v. Self-Care

Are you managing 70%, 80%, or even 90% of everything in your life—and everyone else's? If you're nodding yes while feeling exhausted just thinking about it, this episode is for you.

Self-reliance can be a strength, but it has a shadow side of chronic stress weakening your immune system and setting you up for illness. Flip self-reliance into self-care and restore your weary soul and mind.

Perfect for high-achievers, caregivers, and anyone who feels like they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

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Transcript

Welcome to Anchored Not Anxious. This is your 3 minutes to anchored. The subject: Self-Reliance v. Self-Care

Self-reliance has a dark side. It looks like this: 

• Handling stuff independently and refusing help. 
• Perfectionism and control. 
• Burnt by people who didn’t show up so you’re one woman show. 
• Moving into burnout. 
• You may even feel it’s all on you or it won’t get done. 

If I asked you to guess how much you are carrying, managing, and overseeing, what would you say? 25%? 50%? 70%? More?

Do you believe you’re doing pretty darn good, just okay, or are things falling through the cracks? 

We forget we possess a finite amount of physical and mental energy as well as time. If you are making it happen and living well in the process, that’s fantastic. But if you’re not, listen on.

Early in 2025, I got the flu and my world stopped. No writing, no recording. I struggled to move from the bed to the sofa. I know you’ve been there. 

There’s no way you can get on the computer, run the errands, take the kids, do the bills, cook, or do the chores. Your brain won’t let you even if you can muster the energy. All those must dos take a backseat.

As you recover you take on the high priority to dos like paying the bills, laundry, family care, lawn care, and projects at work. 

Once you’re well, what if you looked at all that had to wait while you were ill? 

This is prime time to identify one or two areas where you need to pull back. You get into the habit of saying yes without seriously weighing the cost to your time and energy.

People assume you’ll take care of “it”, whatever “it” is because you always do. But is it what’s right for you, is it what’s good for them?

Self-care is about prevention. There’s a connection between stress and immune function. Your stress level and how long you’ve been under stress affects the body and you become susceptible to sickness.  

But if you’re managing 90% of the stuff in your life and the lives of others, what can you do? Start small: 

• Grab 5 minutes in a restroom at home or at work.
• Use breath or a guided imagery video to re-center. 
• Grab 10 minutes on a bench outside of your work building or walk the yard around your home. 
• Look up, look down. 
• Connect with the natural. Touch leaves, petals, the brick on the building. 

The point is to re-orient away from the problem, stressor, or anxious thoughts.

Carve a place for you in your schedule. Make it a priority. And get close to God. He is the master at restoring the soul and mind.

Until next time